Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Small Town Guy From Maine is the State's Newest Prison Bitch

This Guy Gives Free Prison Bitch Lessons
Sometimes a big case of Dumbasitis is right under your nose. That is the deal right here in Maine. Just up the road a couple of hours from where I sit is the Town of Baileyville. As you may have surmised, Baileyville is little more than a hiccup on the map. I mean that literally, if you hiccup while entering Baileyville, by the time you hiccup, you'll see the "Leaving Baileyville" sign. Trust me on this.

A dipshit named Michael Bailey, no relation to the town, was arrested for robbing some people at a mobile home! "Four other people arrived at the mobile home during the incident, not knowing what was going on or that they would be robbed, according to police. Of those four, the first two people showed up by chance and also were taken hostage. Then, after Bailey allegedly ordered a resident to call and invite another man to the mobile home, two more people arrived and were held with the others at gunpoint, police indicated.
During the incident, a firearm was discharged in the mobile home and death threats were made before Bailey fled with an undisclosed amount of money, police indicated in the statement. Donahue declined to identify who is suspected of firing the gun or of making the threats.All eight people were robbed and held for about half an hour before Bailey left, according to police. Victims later told police that Bailey was the armed robber and that Fowler was his accomplice, police indicated." That's from UPI.

Michael, Michael, Michael. Rule Number 1 in being a successful criminal is to know that people who live in mobile homes are not rich! They have no possessions that are worth a shit! Do I have to tell you everything, Michael? Man up, son!  Here's a hint for you, Michael. Drive around a town larger than Baileyville and look for, oh, I don't know, BIG HOUSES maybe? That's where the loot is, dumbass. It's only gets better from here. Here's more from UPI: "Then, at around 6 a.m. Monday, police received a report of shots fired at a home on Houlton Road in Baileyville. A man who lives there told police he had exchanged gunfire with a masked gunman around 4 a.m. but that the gunman then ran away. The resident called police a few minutes after his home was hit again by gunfire, police said." hang on, there's one more thing that Michael the dipshit criminal did that earns him the title of Dipshit of the Day. When he was finally stopped by the law, Michael was ready to engage in a gun fight with the heat. Not a good decision. As Mikey Boy was pulling out the gun he had used in his earlier crimes, he shot himself in the face! I. Shit. You. Not!

Needless to say, but that was the end of Michael's Baileyville Crime Spree. He's being held on $10,000 bond in the County Jail. Other charges like kidnapping are certain to be filed in the next day or two. So, I bid Michael a fond adieu as he begins his new life as a prison bitch, or as they say in the pen, "fresh meat". have a good stay, Michael. I'm sure that you'll have some great stories to tell your grand children in 6 -10 years. Frakkin' idjit.

Because Toby said so.


  1. Hell I thought that was OJs twin. Cut from the same cloth I suppose.