Friday, February 4, 2011

Lifetime Movies Ruin the Super Bowl - A Husband's Story

The Super Bowl is a only a couple of days away and I thought it would be a good idea to write something for the ladies who don't really care for football. Personally, I can't imagine why in the world that anyone wouldn't watch football, especially the Super Bowl. Then I married a woman who ranks football right up there with strep throat. I don't understand why she feels this way, but she couldn't care less about football. When I first moved to Maine, I thought maybe I could convert her into being at least a fan of my favorite teams, the Texas Longhorns and Green Bay Packers. I was sadly mistaken. So I did what any red-blooded American husband would do. I bought two new TVs! One for downstairs and one for our bedroom upstairs. It was money wasted. Now instead of her watching Lifetime movies downstairs while I watch football upstairs, she watches Lifetime movies downstairs and records Lifetime Movie Network movies upstairs! A quick note for all men here; Lifetime and Lifetime Movie Network are two separate entities. While one plays movies that suck, the other plays movies that really suck. I guess now would be a good time to reveal that I hate Time-Warner Cable! Thank goodness I have strong Internet Fu so I can find the game I wanted to watch on TV, and watch it on my laptop. Better yet, I recently hooked up my old desktop computer to the HDTV in our room upstairs. I drink lots of ginger ale so I can make frequent "nature calls" and catch at least a glimpse of the game I want to watch. It's a diabolically clever plan. Or so I thought. Heather's a smart woman and as soon as she heard me yell "C'mon Longhorns, kick their ass!" the first time, the jig was up. I guess I'll have to get a subscription to the NCAA and NFL online services so I can watch football while I am "working" on my Blogging Empire.

As you have surmised by now, I haven't mentioned one thing about the stated premise of this post of what women could do if they didn't want to watch the Super Bowl. I am too depressed. Maybe I can watch football during the commercial breaks of Lifetime movies. I am a beaten man and my Man Card is in danger of being revoked. Sad. Very sad.

Because Toby  Heather said so.

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