|Bad Mamma Jamma|
The For-Mar nature Preserve recently celebrated is 40th Anniversary. To properly recognize such an austere occasion, the preserve had a tree hugging contest! Yes, friends, a tree hugging contest. Couples from the area became closer togetherby hugging a tree for as long as they could. The Grand Prize was "a nature preserve wedding by outlasting other couples at a tree-hugging competition." Nothing says I love you like throwing your arms around a tree and hanging on for a couple of hours. Just imagine how much fun a couple could have by hugging a tree with a wolverine in their underwear! Now that's how a good tree hugging should be. If you can maintain your grip on a tree while one of the fiercest animals in North American is running around in your skivvies, then you deserve the wedding at the nature preserve. Imagine the fun you'd have with a pissed off wolverine nibbling and clawing at your gazebos with the ferocity of a pit bull on meth. Such entertainment!
Personally, I'd rather hug a big fat check for a few million. Don't get me wrong, I am all for saving trees and stuff, but realistically, I like trees that are turned into furniture, baseball bats, toothpicks and things. So you goofballs in Michigan can go with your bad selves and hug all the trees in the preserve til you fall down dead and here in Maine, we'll do something exciting during winter. Something like hugging a moose. However, moose make for lousy furniture, baseball bats and toothpicks. But they do make a delicious moose burger. Try it out.
Because Toby said so.