Monday, January 24, 2011

Colored Snowfall in Russia!

Samara before the Colored Snow
Colored snow is falling in Russia. I'm serious. Gray and beige snow recently fell in the southeastern Russian city of Samara. Samara must be the Russian version of Detroit. Just kiddin', Motown.  :) Actually, "Samara" is the Russian word for "we are all going to die because this gray and/or beige snow is toxic, comrade".

I was a bit skeptical of this claim as something that was too much toxic Tater Juice (vodka) induced. But my skepticism was allayed when I saw that the Emergencies Ministry had determined that the colorful snow was not a threat to area residents. And I believe in the Tooth Fairy, too. Idiots. These (ministry assholes) are the kind of people who said Chernobyl was not of any danger to the local citizenry. The Head Comrade Dipshit in Charge of Colored Snow at the "Emergencies Ministry"said that he believes the snow is a result of sandstorms in Kazakhstan mixing sand and clay in with the falling snow. I believe him because this sort of thing happens all the time in West Texas. As a matter of fact, Colored Snow Made from Sand and Clay storms from Midland-Odessa happens all the time in cities east of the Permian Basin, Dallas and Fort Worth included. I hope that you could almost see the sarcasm dripping off that last sentence.I guess when something like this happens in a place like Russia, the people either believe the Godless Commie at the "Emergencies Ministry", they don't give a damn or they know the bastard is lying to them and can do nothing about it except consume liberal quantities of liqour. maybe a combination of all three. I feel sorry for the poor schmucks.

Aren't you glad that we live in a country where the gubmint comes clean about all emergencies like colored snow? I know I am. I don't know from gray and/or beige snow, but when we had that blizzard up here a few weeks ago, the State Gubmint said that if we were to see yellow snow, don't be alarmed, it's just that the Lemonade Fairy was a little clumsy the night before. My elected representatives would never lie to me. Would they? Screw 'em all.

Because Toby said so.

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